I sit here, surrounded by boxes, on a mattress on the floor in Anya’s room, the room blocked off and designated as the “Don’t Box” zone – essentially, each four suitcases with our belongings and clothing we will use for the next month and a half or so until our Express shipment arrives. The rest of our household goods will arrive in November, inshallah (Lord willing, as we say in Bahrain).
As I listen to our lives being packed away in boxes and crates, I reflect on the years spent in this beautiful house making it a home – building memories, laughing, crying, yelling, whispering, growing closer and stronger individually and collectively. It became our asylum.
Today, in a matter of hours, it is just a shell of what was – this is sad to me somehow. The rooms that once breathed life and energy and animation are now still and unresponsive, their memoirs written on the walls. Oh, the archive of stories they must hold! In my sadness, I know that no place which has offered refuge, growth, and happiness, even for a brief time, is ever futile or forgotten. With change comes growth, and with growth comes an expansion of the boundaries we place knowingly or unknowingly around ourselves.
Bahrain definitely challenged my boundaries in those first two years; I tried desperately to keep them close, sometimes gripping them so hard my heart felt like it would crack. As I re-read the first chapter of this beautiful journey, I am a different person now than when it was being written.
I don’t try to control so much because I’ve learned I can’t.
I’ve learned that oftentimes expectations simply need to change.
I’m convinced that comparisons and complaining can be dangerous and can paralyze the soul.
I now understand and appreciate that home is wherever we are, that this world is waiting to be explored and that life is short – in that, I have practiced exposing my dreams to the light instead of keeping them in dusty, lidded jars.
And how the sunshine has multiplied and grown them!
Our physical boundaries are about to shift, and a new chapter is about to be written. It is going be magnificent because it is all a part of this beautiful journey.